Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Work from home

 I've been setup Retail Online company home based. I’ve been working from home a lot lately!
 Unless I have to step out for meetings, most of the time I’m just answering emails and do Creative marketing strategy from my house.

But let me tell you guys .. working from home isn’t as glamorous as people might think! If you’re not careful, it can easily turn into you (or me) being in your pajamas for days at a time. And who can get any work done while being in their pajamas all day? Some of us just laying on your coach or bed,  feel holiday mood, just want to play with your kids half the time.. am I right?

But love it or hate it, work is work!

I always try to drag my self to maintain my productivity while working from home , maybe it can be consider as your tips especially for mommy who working from home.

First I always Get dressed well even though your office just in your dining room, or just small office corner your living room. What I mean is... I always disciplined myself to GET UP (like usually ppl go to office ) , Shower and dressed. It's so easy to feel like you're not working when you're in your pajamas, and even unmotivated because you have no where to go. But Im not saying ...get full of makeup , and heels and tight dress.

Hei.. You will feel perfect for being neat and comfortable while still keeping things professional (even just at home).

2nd is Designate a great work space. The best and worst thing about working from home is that you can work anywhere! you can be on you couch, your bed but that can be make you not productive. Because laying on bed with your notebook just make you want to watch youtube, or shopping , reading news or blog. (hahah). I have been finding it very helpful to designate an area that's my office. I have things on my desk to remind me of my desk back at the office. and flowers (esp. lily flowers ) a must. and My motivation books to keep me inspired while I'm working !

Third, being at home can be easily distracted because now I have a cute baby and a nanny walking around the house so in order to focus, sometimes I just have to commit to myself to forget my surroundings. and Ask my nanny's help and understands , if my baby cranky she will help me to take care and take the baby out first until my work's done.

Sometimes its about quality not quantity, And You'd be surprised with how much you can get done with a steady hardcore 2-4 hours of work if you just focused.(VS 8hours of distracted work).

It can get pretty depressing feeling like you're stuck in a house all day. So that's why I personaly like working in a cozy area, comfort area. Neat area. Because Im an incredibly visual person, so haveing a lot of light , cozy place helps me be creative and helps liven up my senses and keeps me awake ! hihih. So dont get confused, i love to tidy every corner of my room and working place to keep clean, neat and fresh.

Last but not least, Dont forget to play with your kids every once in a while. But definetly be sure to schedule in breaks. I know how easy it is to continuously sit behind a notebook and forget how much time has passed by.  But firstly its not healthy for you to sit a long periods of time, and secondly its not good for productivity when you're feeling worn out. Take a break ... Go out for a dessert or coffee..

And Im pretty much enjoy working from home. Until now i can see the progress of my business, and the cute baby growing.

Happy Working :) 

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

F.A.I.T.H & S.T.R.O.N.G WOMAN Part 2

 Updated letter from my beloved best friend, Mellisa. 
She always inpsiring me . She is very strong woman that i ever know.  

Hope Her email can inspiring more people, especially people who in the same boat with her. Hope it can make all people more tough and grateful. 

Here is the email :

"Dear Gals, 
Sorry for the late update. 

So, we went to back to singapore on Monday the 15th and did my ultra sound scan and MRI for the breast. 

The result as what my onco said was, "It's good news but not the best news"

Basically, most of the tumors have reacted to the TC x 4 chemo, the biggest one is left at 1.2 cm and unfortunately my onco said " she can't moved me to non invansive Cancer or CCR (clinically clear result)"

She had hoped I would be able to get away just with TC x 4 and said "yea you're cured!"

So she said she is in dilemma whether or not she should give me more chemo with A x 4 or skipped the A x 4 and go straight with Hormone Therapy. 

A x 4 if it works will give me 4 - 7% additional cure rate, but she doesn't know whether or not it will actually work, it could not work at all, it could maybe only shrink the lump to only an additional 0.1 mm or it could made the whole lump disappear.

We met with several more oncologist and several breast surgeons and the knowledge that I learnt was that the only way we would know if what's remain is still invasive or not is when we do the operation (this is a must no matter what). 

So there's a chance after the pathological result of the operation, the remaining lump is declared to be DCIS or non invasive, hence I don't have to do more chemo. 

So, I'm taking that route. 

In addition, I've also spoken to my breast surgeon and informed him that I really mind and concern about the risk of lymphodema, so he has agreed to first do a sentinel node biopsy where he will first inserted a radioactive capsule into my lymph node are so during the surgery, he can scan and see whether or not any of them are positive. If any are still positive, however, he said he will have no choice but to take them out. Fair enough. 

John and I are still negotiating with each other on the additional chemo A x 4. He said another oncologist that we went to see for a 2nd opinion, specially called him just to let him know that she thinks even if after the surgery the tumor is negative, she suggested i should still do more chemo, which is in line with John's thought. 

John is worried about the microscopic tumor cells that are in the rest of my body, and since I'm not CCR, he's afraid some may have spread but we can't see them on PET SCAN yet (if we can, it will already be very bad). So, he wants me to still do more chemo, A x 4 after the surgery even if my remaining tumor is negative. 

Me on the other hand thought if it's negative, let's move on to hormone therapy because I'm ER (estrogen) and PR (progesterone) positive, highly reactive to hormone therapy. 

And there was a new result that came out for hormone therapy: Ariamicyn + OA (Zolidax) given for 5 years give breast cancer patients 83% cure rate. 

This is what my onco talked about, with CCR I would be 90% cured. But since I can't have CCR, she's very much inclined with Ariamicyn + OA that will give me 83% instead. No one gets 100% okay =)

The only downside with Ariamicyn + OA is that I will be in menoupouse for 5 years instead of 3 years. Ariamicyn is a drug that's usually given to post menouposal women, but they have had a trial whereby it was given to pre menopousal women by giving them OA (ovary ablation) so the body thinks that it's having menoupose hence the drug works. 

Doc said I'll loose some feminine feature and have some mood swings, etc (just like an old lady i supposed *lol*) but if I can't stand the side affect, then they'll just take me off zolidax and give me tamoxifen instead (the original drug for pre menopouse women) which will give me 76% cure rate. 

One doctor said, "It's quality of life that we look for not only the quantity (how long)" which I agree. 

Anyway, for anyone near me and don't see me everyday, if you see me changing in too much of a negative way, please point it out to me *grin* coz I don't think me or John will be able to tell since we're with each other everyday and both of us tolerate each other and ourselves quiet well *lol*

I do noticed however with the 2 x zolidax that I have had so far (without Ariamicyn) that sometimes I do have mood swings, hot flashes. I feel less confident in some ways but I think this may not directly link to the zolidax, it could just be a normal phase that a cancer person has to go through. 

In many ways, I am overwhelmed with a lot of things, but in many ways I think I have also loosen up. Self pity do come across several times but I've managed to brush it off. I can tell you that I feel ups and downs, and to certain extent I think cancer is 50% body and 50% mind / emotions (this one seem to be harder to battle, I'd say =)

My doctor's dis satisfaction of not being able to declare me CCR, stroke the question of "How many of cancer patients actually reached CCR?" The answer to this question was (from several other doctors) that not many breast cancer patient who is ER + PR + and HER 2 - like me gets CCR, usually patients with triple negative cancer or HER 2 + cancer gets CCR after chemotherapy. 

But I still have hormone therapy which will definitely surpress my cancer if any remaining is still invasive. 

Then my next question was "Does that mean patients who doesn't get CCR has less years than the ones has CCR?" The answer to this question was "Not really"

What the doctors do know is that most breast cancer women lives up to 5 years cancer free some even lives up to 10 years cancer free, afterwards if cancer relapse, then the doctor doesn't talk about cure rate anymore, it's more of controlling the cancer. 

So, if you asked me, life before knowing I have cancer, yes it's all a probability, anyone can just die at any seconds from any kind of accidents, diseases, etc. Now with all of these info on hand, yes, I really realized hey i may just live shorter than other average women who is not diagnosed with cancer. Yes, I may outlived anyone who may had a heart attack, or accidents, but compared to any normal person, yes, I guess I'm in hmmm what's the right term...dazed maybe with this fact. 

I told John if the pathological result after the surgery is positive, with full power, I will toughen up and do the Adriamycin x 4 and believe with all my heart that it will give me that extra 4 - 7% additional cure rate. The dilemma will only come if the result of my operation is negative which actually be really2x good (but I do understand that it could also mean that it's only negative because of the TC x 4 chemo and good thing that we take it out coz it won't be active in my body again, it's the remaining microscopic if any that John is worried about). Which will led me to ask my onco later, shouldn't my hormone therapy be enough to surpress them?

Next question would be does that mean anybody who had taken a full scope regime of Chemo TAC for 8x actually has a higher survival rate than the ones who didn't do chemo or the ones tho only did 4 x chemo like myself?

Sorry guys if the top part of the email seem to have lots of medical terms or discussions. 

Anyway, John and I are leaving for SG on Monday taking 1st flight at 6 am. My parents will join us on Tues, the 23rd also 1st flight. My operation will be on the 23rd in Glen Eagle at 1.30 p.m. My breast surgeon is SC Low and we've decided to go with Dr. Evan Woo as my plastic surgeon. 

For the breast reconstruction, I've opted for the Pedicle TRAM (loose 1 tummy muscle, use part of my lower abodemen fat and skin to be transferred as my new breast). The volume will be around 80 - 90% similar to my left one. I hope that's good enough. If not, we can talk about fat grafting later on. But using my own tissues and fat really sound more appealing to me than using silicon and my back muscle. 

The mastectomy itself will take about 1.5 hour, the reconstruction will take around 5 - 6 hours. So, my friends around the globe, please pray for us before, during, and after the operation =) *hug* *hug*

Please also pray for the kids and domestic + office workers =) All of whom, we've lifted up to God since we just can't managed to handle and control everything right now. 

One of the doctor that we went for 2nd opinion, reminded John and I on this when I asked her to pray for us to make the right decision, she said, "sometimes when we asked God which way to take, He may gives us an answer through dream, vision, or someone, but sometimes He may not and we would be left to make our choice. and when we do make that choice, we should be at peace and believe that His grace is sufficient for us to take that road. we shouldn't have fear. because if we have fear, then that means we have no faith."

I kept on saying I have faith in God, now it's time for me to live that word, and proof it. I won't lie to you and say I have no fear. Sometimes I like to say it maybe or seem to have display or looks like I don't have any, which helped me to get rid of the fear. I have many worries and dis satisfaction with how messy my working table is right now, my closets, the kids toys, kate 's worksheets is all over the place, domestic workers always asking when the old maid will come back so they can go, or asking to leave because their old boss called them and offered them more money (it's not like we don't pay them high enough). I think leaving my kids with the workers worries me. and living here in this house with the workers stresses me out. truly the word can't live without them and can't live with them is so true. 

Above is so out dated, when my self confidence is up and when i wasn't diagnosed with cancer, i can just say, "go ahead, if you wanna go pack now" and I can just say, "next..." meaning next one can come in right away too. but now i'm faced with "I can't do it myself anymore" and I can't just get next because I won't be here to supervised them or train them. 

Above is also so worldly and just proof how I don't cast all my cares to God. Well, I'm ready to do so, then I wonder is this casting all my care or more of I don't care anymore, let's just get this thing over and done with and move on with life?

I asked one of my best friend this " you believe as what bible said that God gave up His life so that we may have joy in this life or do you believe the Buddhist teaching that life is full of suffering?"

Logically, I think the Buddhist is right life is full of suffering, everyday...and this is easier to accept because we lived through it everyday. it makes sense. then the Buddhist teaching will guide us how to suffer less in this world. 

The Christian thinking however, I must say is harder to accept because it starts in the spirit to first believe in Jesus Christ, then the mind control to keep on reminding self that Jesus wants us to have Joy in this life, we must always be grateful and thankful, and strive for that Joy. This is easier said than done.*lol* that's why it's called faith right =)

I have gained 3 - 5 kg these past 3 months. I have lost much of my physical strengths. I have lost some of my self confidence. I have missed my long hair. I felt hot most of the time wearing my wig although this is already the best option half natural and half synthetic. I'm behind in most of my office work. My household is in the survival mode getting things get by. 

but my marriage with John has been proven through fire to be really strong, just as I had been strong for him, he has been so strong for me and himself, and for our kids. he's truly my best friend (2nd to my girl friends of course *lol*) j/k. Kate's grade and work ethic has actually improve while mommy is even more hands off on her school. i have had the privilege to have my mom and dad to live together with us in 1 country (my mom mostly reside in US and dad been back here for past 2 years). i'm happy to see that my kids get to have an active grandma figure in their life. 

Yes, you will know the people who really cares for you will always care. and the people who doesn't care still won't care anyway *lol* ranges from domestic, office workers, friends, and family. 

Why should they separate the term friends and family anyway. My friends are pretty much my family. Family shouldn't just be a title given to us just because we're blood related or marriage related. I personally feel hurt when I'm referred to "she's her friend" when another person whom my friend rarely see or talk to or know about or who has never been there for her is introduced as "she's family"

Why should you who's been there for me and hear my ups and downs, laugh, cry, fight, made up, prayed for me or me on the other side be downgraded compared to family?

The term family also puts a distance when you are not immediate brother / sister / cousin or you are cousin / relatives from mom or dad side, or if you're brother / sister /cousin in law because you just never know where you stand in front of them. You wanted so much to be part of the family but then you're afraid that you're not welcome because you will always have that barrier. 

My family are all of you who has been here for me more than just the casual we will pray for you. 

Thank you for your time, friendship, thoughts, cares, love, and prayers. 

I'll write again once I can start typing again *lol* hopefully no lymph node taken out *cross finger*

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Break TIME !

Once again, just like expected, Its really getting harder to sit down and write a blog.  Already try to sit down , want to write something, Very-serious-blogging-sessions...Buttttt... 20 minutes later just empty blog in my screen. Fuuuhh..

I found that, the busier I am, the faster days gone. And sometimes I wonder where did the time go ? What did I do today ? How come I became very short memories , I didn't remember many details lately. Goossh... !

Time, can you tick your tock more slowly please?  I just open my eyes in morning and blink my eyes, and its already nite. I still remember how grumpy I am in the monday morning and fuuussshh... its already weekend. So many things to do.. but so little time I have. I always questioning myself, Did I use my time wisely ?

Okay then..Holiday season is coming, really need short gateway holiday, just to relaxing my mind and body. Really wish for relaxing holiday. But the fact, My nanny will take on leave on my holiday time. And Yes I need to take care my babies. (*Faint*). Cross finger ... i have so many helper to help me to take care of the kids, So I can do my household things. (hix..sad). What a great holiday to welcoming new year !

Talk about new year... Im so Proud and Happy with this year achievement. In Spiritual , Business , friends And family. I can feel that GOD so love me that much. God gave me those great achievement that sometimes I'm not dare to asked. I feel so gratitude. Thanks GOD for the amazing year. Hope in the next years, the growing achievement we will get.

I still remember how hard my life goes through, To many bumps on my path , But I still Praise to God. Without it I cant Growth like today.

Thanks universe for the hard lesson.  I will always keep my Faith that God will always stay beside me. Even i feel iam alone, I will always remember that teacher always in silence stay beside me.

My heart feel very calm and warm when read this nice words " when pupil is going through difficulty, and wonder where the teacher is, remember the teacher is always quiet during the test".


Thursday, November 27, 2014

F.A.I.T.H & S.T.R.O.N.G !!

In this blog, I would like to write about my tough and brave friend "MELLISA " who survive with breast cancer.

My heart broken into piece, when She told us about her sickness. I held my tears. Dont want to let her feel my sadness too. I want to cheer her up. It feels horrible to see such a kind and nice person like you get that DAMN sick.

But my surprisingly , she is really very very tough woman. With Big FAITH to God. She is really inspiring me a lot. Her spirit, Her FAITH teach me bout " ACCEPTANCE ".

With her permission ,I would like to share her updated email about her experience and struggle with her sickness and treatments.

She already done her 4th Chemo. And on 25 November she have her 4th chemo. And here is her Email updated she sent to me :

Singapore, 25 November 2014
Please see attached for some pic: kate 's 1st communion, bday boy n girl, 3rd chemo early nov w my bro.

Happy mellisa with her blooming roses and soulmate :)

 I supposed to have my 4th chemo today but change to tomorrow because i had to see several surgeons today, very exhausting.

Next on the list, 3 weeks from now come back do USG on breast n mammogram if mastect or MRI if preserve breast. Or if result show not clear continue with chemo with adryamicin (the drug that my doc try to avoid) me too , Because this one has been proven to cause heart problem later on in age and side affects are more awful.

Aftr seeing 3 surgeons mastect is a must.

Next on list reconstruction, seen 2 docs so far, one said not enough fat on tummy, has to take skin n fat frm back n do implant, another said thats not a good idea n that I have enough fat on tummy. tomorrow after chemo gonna see 1 more for 3rd opinion.

Then theres issue of lymph node, oncologist said in states even if lymph node is positive they dont take out coz new findings said no effect in recurrence or survival whether its taken out or not. And risk of lymphodema does not occur Right away can be a year or 5 or 10 yrs later.

Lymphodema is swollen arm n hand can be permanent, pretty much disable u can see pic on web, not a good sight.

So yes i dont want to have that and would very much wanna keep my lymph nodes but surgeons wanna take those out so i will be clear "er" on those area.

But my oncologist really think she can tame the nodes even if its positive with radiotheraphy and hormone theraphy.

So i still haven't decide on this. Please help to pray for the right and best decision making.

Then there is the issue of leaving home for surgery follow by radiotheraphy. Dont wanna miss x mas n new year w kids but postponing surgery for 6 weeks is not recommended unless i do hormne theraphy 1st. Standard is to do surgery 1st.

Im still working out d logistic n timing.

Chemo if i can explain it is like hand washing ur clothes, aftr d 10th day i feel good great like clothes being pulled up frm d bucket fresh. But 11 days later whn its time for nxt chemo i feel like d clothes being dumped back down into d bucket, squeezed n scrub *lol*

The amazing part is i look good dont u think? Lol

Mommies at school or strangers who dont know ive breast cancer definitely dont know or suspect coz my wig looks great hi hi

People who rarely see me n know little of cancer or of me will think "oh its not so bad, she looks great, better than normal, she can do normal activities"

You still jorjes Mel :) No body will realize you're sick.
Even those who c me everyday probably think its not that bad, which i like in some ways coz i dont like to look weak or hv d pity look but sometimes its irritating because cancer sucks! 

Yes many blessings come with it but i tell u whn u hv to go thru it n live with it, it sucks no way to sugar coat it nor undermine it.

The emotional up n down, d changes in ur body shape, body strength, the feelings, confusion, so many decisions to make, the fear, the whole ordeal is a lot to take on top of that life must still go on. Kids to take care of, household, work n workers to deal with.

I honestly still dont know how im going to change my lifestyle aftr all treatments is done with. 

John said he noticed i sleep better n more hours like 6 instead of 4 hours per nite whn im at d hotel �� but i cant possibly stay at hotel forever right? Hi hi

I told him coz in hotel i dont hear or see kids crying, workers not doing their job or room to clean so no disturbance. At home im like an automated robot, immediate response to sounds in middle if nite n immediate gotta fix something attitude.

Anyway, john continues to b wonderful, he tries really hard to understand me esp w my menopouse mood syndrome too lol. having my parents n brother at home also helps n they ve also been wonderful.

Having all of u praying, emailing, bbm , calling, spending time or visiting me also helps.

Overall, im still extremely grateful for everything n everyone. Even for cancer because i can assure u that eventhough i may seem to b confused, complaining n even weaker in some physical n emotional aspect, i will come out from this stronger n more determined than ever to make sure my life is lived everyday for God's purpose n glory. 

Im trying my best to keep my joy n peace, its not easy but i know that its exactly what the devil want me to loose, in addition to doubting n hating God for this. But i wont because i know God didnt give me this cancer. He wants n is helping me to cope n survive cancer so i can do what i was made to do.

What is it Mel, u ask? Lol i dont know exactly yet too hihi but it prob will not go far from God's 2most important commandment n the fruit of d spirits.

Ok girls, im beat n sleepy, please pray for my 4th chemo, for people near me, for result n for me to make d right n best decision.

 Thank u girls, Gbu

Im so grateful having you as my friend.  My strong friend :) You teach me how to be patient, and live in FAITH.  Even I cant always near beside you, cheer you up and make you calm. But I always be there for you when you needed. I am praying very hard for your healthy, mel. you will be jorjes soon. :) Get well soon Dear.

Inspiring woman in my life ( Ci sekar , me and Mel )

Hope your experience can inspire others people and give others people spirit to be more gratitude with their healthyness. 

With love,

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Tuesday Note

When your kids sick, how worry we are as a parents. Accompany your kids, make sure your kids fine and healthy, 24 hours don't dare to leave them. And how about when your parents sicks ? Will we do that ? take care of them ? will you do that privilage to our parents ?

Im so sad :(

Saturday, November 22, 2014


Did you ever think, Real happiness is when you can accept that life isn't always that happy and yet you still choose to smile and move on. 
And You keep remind your self " when GOD give you big BUMP means GOD trust us can solve big problem "

Hai blog, hope you not feel lonely ya. its been sooo long never write and post anything ini this blog. Feel very guilty :( Untuk menebus rasa bersalah saya, Saya akan berusaha deh untuk menulis lagi. Meluangkan waktu untuk menulis dan mempost dan menshare segala sesuatu yang saya lewatin dan rasakan. 

Sebenarnya sih , kepinginnya di blog ini saya bisa menuliskan tentang semua impian saya, rasa bersyukur saya ( gratitude ) setiap hari.
Meski kelihatannya " to good to be realize " tapi saya akan berusaha dan coba kok. 

Saya pernah baca rangkuman dari satu buku, bahwa apabila setiap hari seseorang selalu bisa mensyukuri apa yang dia dapat kan , hal yang dia syukuri akan di lipat gandakan kebahagiaannya. Misalnya : kita selalu bersyukur bahwa kita gak pernah kekurangan air , makanan dan rezeki, hal yang kita syukuri ini akan semakin hari semakin melimpah , dan kita makin berasa kok hal yang kita syukuri ini semakin gak habis habisnya. Di berikan lebih terus. Gak kekurangan.

Jadi kesimpulannya , setiap orang yang mempunyai rasa syukur itu, akan kembali terefleksikan seperti refleksi kaca yang memantul kembali ke kita, dan biasnya itu memberikan flash yang lebih besar , dan gak jarang juga kebiasaan bersyukur kita ini menular ,  dan bisa memberikan inspirasi lagi bagi orang sekitar. 

So dari gratitude itu , rasa syukur yang terucap lebih jelasnya.. bisa memberikan arti yang besar juga buat orang lain dan buat kita. so kenapa enggak , sebelum tidur luangkan waktu 10 menit aja, mengucapkan syukur untuk segala hal yang kita alami. Tapi kalao suatu hal yang tidak kita rasakan tidak ada chesmistrynya dan terasa greget hanya ucapan semata ..ya jangan di tulis.. artinya kita gak bener2 merasakannya. 

Hari ini saya bersyukur sekali atas Karunia Tuhan , saya selalu bisa diberikan kesempatan untuk belajar,  Hari ini saya di berikan suatu pelajaran yang besar dan berarti yaitu " PENGAMPUNAN ".  Weehh.. Berat ya untuk belajar mengampuni seseorang yang telah membuat kita kecewa, sedih dan marah. Disaat Gejolak emosi, rasa sedih melebur , kita di berikan kesadaran dan pembelajaran bahwa bila kita tidak melewati dan merelakan kesedihan , kekecewaan ini pergi. Hal ini pasti akan terulang ulang dan terulang terus, sampai kita menjadi tumbuh dan menyadari bahwa hal ini harus di lepaskan dan di lewati. Suatu kepasrahan atas kemelekatan kita , di tutupi dengan suatu keajaiban , kerelaan suatu PENGAMPUNAN. di saat itu penderitaan kita sirna , dan semua menjadi bertumbuh menjadi lebih indah. Tidak ada lagi duri-duri kecewa, sedih yang menusuki diri sendiri , melukai dan menyakiti diri sendiri.  and what i learn is We all make mistakes, we learn, we apologize, we change, and we move on with a better understanding. Everybody makes mistakes so it is truly unfair to not give room for other people to make some. No matter how much a person disappoints me, I will always forgive and move on. I have a big heart and I am grateful to GOD  for that.

Saya bersyukur mendapatkan pelajaran bahwa PENGAMPUNAN, bukan lah hanya mengampunin orang lain, tapi mengampuni diri dan menyayangi diri sendiri. KArena PENGAMPUNAN kita tidak lagi membunuh diri sendiri dengan meminum racun dan memelihara duri dalam tubuh kita.

Rasa syukur kedua adalah : Saya melihat anak anak saya tumbuh berkembang menjadi dewasa yang berbobot. Tadi sehabis pulang dari kantor, secepat mungkin saya menukar pakaian saya dan bersiap siap lagi untuk pergi beribadah dan melakukan pelayanan. Saya baru menyadari anak anak saya belom pulang dari tempat bimbel nya, baru saya mau berangkat mereka pulang. Ah ...rasa bersalah masuk kedalam hati, ahh..tidak sempat bermain dan bercerita dengan mereka lagi deh malam ini. Mereka pasti kecewa lagi. Bener juga, anak tengah bertanya  " kemana mom ? Ke vihara ya ? " sambil mengiyakan , saya cium pipinya.  Yang keluar dari mulutnya adalah penyejukan hati " mom, jangan capek capek ya ! di sana pasti sibuk  , mike tungguin mom pulang ya " 
Saya bersyukur mereka mengerti bahwa cinta yang kecil dari dalam rumah ini, harus di sebarkan meluas menjadi cinta yang besar bagi semua orang di luar sana. Saya merasa bersyukur atas hal kecil ini. 

Rasa syukur ketiga adalah : i have great lunch and dinner. great food and great companion. 

Rasa syukur ke empat adalah : Saya di berikan orang begitu baik , dan begitu positive. di perkenalkan dengan jodoh yang baru. Jodoh yang memberikan nilai positive bagi saya, bahwa ya memang selalu ada harapan untuk hal baik.

Rasa syukur ke lima adalah : Bisa beristirahat lebih baik dari kemarin.

Ahh..saya yakin sekali, di saat kita mempunyai pikiran yang sehat , dan pikiran yang sehat itu adalah bisa " MENERIMA ( ACCEPTANCE ) semua kondisi, disitulah kita sudah bertumbuh dan menciptakan kebahagiaan kita sendiri :)

I feel much much more happy :)

Good nite :)

Wednesday, July 17, 2013


Im not the person who loves GLEE serial. But well , the reason I love is because of Finn and Rachel love story. I feel there's some deep chemistry between them, like I DO. Here i attached some of my fave Clip of them. I feel De-Javu in some episode :)

Thursday, April 11, 2013

You come for a reason, a season or a lifetime ??

People come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have to come to assist you through a difficulty. To provide you with guidance and support. To aid you physically emotionally or spiritually, they may seems like a God send and they are........

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvinience time.

This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die,
Sometimes they walk away,
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realiZe is that our need has been met our desire fullfilled.

And their work is DONE.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now its time to move on.

Some people come to your life for a season.

Because you turn has come to share grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbeliveable amount of joy.

Believe it , its real but only for a season.

And the last person is , people come into your life for a lifetime.

Lifetime relationship teach lifetime lessons.

Things you must build upon in order to have solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson , love the person and use in all other relationship and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thanks for being a part of my life.

Whether your were a reason, a season or a life.


Before and after

Colorful day

Marriage is fighting

soulmate is not found,it is made,keep on fighting to bcome each other's soulmate

Out of blue

Baby Kai turn ONE

Time flies baby Kai turn to little man. Still remember, i still post bout my pregnancy journal. And now he is turn to little boy.

We celebrate his party with all family member and friends. Kai sooo cranky tat day, maybe to crowded.

So far his development very good, he can interactive with us very well, now he start to learn walking and he is our talkative boy. He loveeeee his koko so much. He love to follow his koko, we call him kai the follower. Heehehe

We're sooo grateful with God grace. Who always take care of KAI. We always pray hope Kai always be a good kid, love God and his parents and siblings, keep in healthy and growth to be a smart boy.

We love u baby KAI

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