Saturday, October 22, 2016

Entrepreneur stories Being a Boss is lonely

This leads me to a topic I've been wanting to write. FOR LOOONGGG TIMEEEE……… Phuff..

You know, it's actually not fun being a boss, let alone a GIRLBOSS.  It could be a lonely place up there, really! (sob..sob..sob)

As a boss(when you have more than 1staff means you are A BOSS ) the beginning of my entrepreneurship journey, I thought that it was possible to always make everyone happy while still achieving the company's goals, but it became harder when I already have full team in the office, a bit of SOP, systems and bigger goals and target. No matter what my decision or my intention are there will always be some people who would think it's an unfair decision. Fuuhh..

You think being a boss mean you don't have to answer and report to anyone ? ITS TOTALLY Wrong! Hello… I have Investor and BOD meeting every week where I need to responsible on every numbers presented and  being asked questions where I don't know the answers. Try to please the BOD while at the same time please your team? Tough job right there :D. 

And...when you have partner which is not in one vision or direction with you. And dont put any effort to build the company. with "Sebodo amat" attitude. And you need to entertain them as partner but frank speak he/she just act like small staff. Dilema behaviour.

Some people think being a boss means less work you can more relax because we can delegate it easily? WHO SAYSSS ? When it was just 5 of us in the office, I thought by having more people I could have less work and just focus on the specific thing. Which is not the case of course, as the company grows there are even more works to be done, bigger goals to achieve and higher standards to set. Also many things just cannot be delegated to anyone.  And even if we have delegated some works, we still have to control it and make sure all is going well and make the final decisions on a few of them.

As a boss, I have to set the path of the company and always need to show up enthusiastic and full of energy. But you know I'm only human, I have bad days too but can I really look like how I feel? Of course NOT, afraid of sending a negative vibe accross the office and making people wondering what has happened. I have to act like duck you know, looking all calmed and collected on the surface where I paddle like crazy below the surface. I have to watch my words, every email and every text I type on group.

CEO has super salary? Well that is true when you're a CEO of a big corporation, but when you are also the founder? NEEEYYY...haha, it's a common practice where the CEO takes less salary compare to their top executives. It happened to me, it also happened to me (and my partners) we didn't take any salary for a few months! and we still had to look optimistic about everything when we were bleeding on the inside :o)

What else? I'm sure there's plenty more. Sometimes, as a CEO, you are expected to know everything while in fact you are just as clueless as them. Do I know any better than my IT or Accounting staff? Of course not. And obviously, our staff know better about the latest thing in ecommerce than I do. So obviously I'm not the smartest in the room,. I have many moments of self-doubt, clueless if I'm doing the right thing or not. Those times, I can only pray and let God do the rest. 

By the way do you know that entrepreneurs live in fear? We drink that every morning. My biggest fear is not being good enough. 

As an entrepreneur, people like to make assumptions about you and your business. Your relatives are suddenly reaching out to you to see if you have job openings or you can squeeze in someone and magically create a position for them.

As a CEO, I also have so many events and meeting to attend, sometimes I can think like, It might be a quick meeting, but when we accumulate the hours we spend on the road and getting ready it can be A LOT and they are the hours I can never get back to sit on my desk. Everytime I say yes to something it means I say no to me and my priorities. And the guilt from spending less with family or work is bigger than the guilt from not attending meeting, and any opportunity. So that is why I'm very picky with my time. 

Bottom line is, women at the top in general are very vulnerable so imagine being a CEO, an entrepreneur and a mom :D.

So anyway, I'm babbling pretty long here. Moral of the story is, if you have a boss, a supervisor, someone you report to, make it a point to thank them once a while, or at least recognize their hardwork, and show them that you care because they care a lot about you and looking after you.

They are always thinking of ways for you to accelerate your career, complimenting you, covering your asses to the bigger boss, proposing for a reward and other things. Just like you, they also have their own battle at work or at home. But unlike you, no one babysit them and they don't get as much as appreciation as you do. You never know how a simple act of kindness can be the highlight of their day and provides ACCEPTANCE that they matter just like it did to me. 

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